Peace of Mind
by ToshiToKo
Summary: Tsuzuki talks to a stranger about his Desires, and admits something he isnt too happy to admit. But is that enough? Summary sucks! RR!


**Author's Notes: I'm upset at the lack of Muraki/Tsuzuki fictions out there. It seemed that LaDiDaanifan wont be updating her YnM Stories anymore (or at least not for a while) And it makes me mad that she started all these rare Mur/Tsu stories and isn't even going to end them. Am I alone when I say that? Am I alone when I say UPDATE! But even so, its her choice. And I cant change it. But its really boring when all the stories have a pairing of His/Tsu and, don't get me wrong, some of them are good, But after a while they all just blend together and in the end all of the His/Tsu pairing stories are just the same. All alike. Don't hit me! (Sigh)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Yami no Matsuei...I wish I did**

Winter blow into Japan like a speeding bullet, hitting its target perfectly. Snow, heavily fell atop Tokyo's large buildings and small houses, consuming it and everything else in a winter wonderland. The park, where a certain brunette sat, was no different from the rest of Tokyo, with its peacefully falling snow flakes, and warm illuminating lamps a long its narrow paths.

"Excuse me sir... but are you okay?" A woman asked the brunette who sat alone. Her hair—platinum blond, and her wide and happy eyes were a distinct shade of cool grey. She was short and wore a white trench coat that fashionably matched her boots, hat and gloves.

She smiled, waiting for a response from the stranger.

He looked up at her, unknown pain and confusion in his violet eyes. Violet? She wondered but quickly brushed it off.

"..." He shook he head quickly and set his head back down and suddenly he started to cry to himself, completely forgetting the women who was censer enough to ask if he was okay.

"May I ask whats wrong?" She proposed lightly, taking a seat next to him without an answer. "Now tell Momo whats wrong." She smiled brightly and she only got a soft chuckle in response. "What... Why are you laughing?"

He smiled warmly and turned to face her. "Hehe. I like your name."

He man... this man was beautiful. His dark hair laying calmly over his forhead, his bright, violet eyes, seemed to burst with raw emotion, yet sadly, he wore a suit of black that could only be interpitted as something bad or unworthly of even being thought of as beautiful.

"I'm glad you finally said something. For a second I thought that talking to the dead would make a better conversation." She giggled while he looked down.

Silence pasted and finally the brunette spoke.

"I'm Tsuzuki, by the way." He muttered, his head still low, into his chest. "You should really head home. Its night time, you should be with loved ones right about now." He spoke, slow and mechanical.

"MmHm." She agreed, nodding her head slightly. "But that goes for you as well. Why are you here instead of home?"

"'Home' never quite feels right when I say it. Besides, this snow, this empty space—this pain, turns out to be much more welcoming then I thought." He smiled sadly.

"Theres no such thing as pain being welcoming. " She pointed out. "Are you going to stay all night?"

"Actually I hadn't thought of that..." He smiled slightly. "I don't think about anything much. Thats why I'm such an idiot. I never think... I never learn."

"What?" She gasped. "You shouldn't talk of yourself that that! It not right to put everything on yourself as if your the one doing wrong."

"And as my desires grow... the more I hurt. I hurt the people I love for the things I want." He said simply, literally shifting the entire flow of their idle conversation.

She sighed. Why did she even talk to him? "Desires? As in love or sex?" She asked, slightly more interested in this man than first thought.

"I'm not sure which..."

"Your talking about a lover?" Momo mused.

"He's not my lover." He said quickly, a small blush forming over his cheeks.

"But he's your desire, right?" She asked, moving closer to him. "He's the reason your here. Isn't it?"

"..Yes." He answered hesitantly. "...and yes."

"Do you love him?"

"I don't want to." Tsuzuki answered harshly, narrowing his eyes at the very thought. "I didn't want any of it... but he came into my life without any intention of leaving."

She smiled to herself. "You cant help who you love. And if he as no intent on leaving, why not give him a chance?"

"Because he's done unspeakable things... he's hurt a lot of people."

"But with his faults... you've fallen in love with him. You cant deny what you feel, you can try, but that would only make you feel worst. Am I wrong?"

"..." He remained quiet, finally taking notice to her appearance.

"Something wrong?" She asked.

"um.. no. Someone just popped into my head, is all."

"Well I'll be going now." Momo said happily, sitting up and standing over him.

"Yes, I guess." And before he was able to put his head back down she cupped his cold cheeks. "I love your eyes. I bet he does too." She winked and smiled before kissing him, lightly on his forehead. "Bye now!"

She disappeared among the night and snow.

Tsuzuki sighed.

"_Do you love him?"_

"_I don't want to."_

"I don't want to love you... Muraki." And suddenly he started to cry. And as crystal clear tears ran down his face from his eyes, he silently admitted something he didn't want to.

_I love you... Muraki._

Maybe—just maybe—one day, he could speak those sorrowful words out loud.

But for now, wasn't this enough?

Could it be enough.

**Author's Notes: How did you all like it? And Momo isn't the Momo from "Peach Girl" (just in case somebody thought that) I wanted Muraki to come in but I guess I should just leave your minds to wonder about might happen to them. As always, I never go over one chapter, simply because I don't have the time to be committed to a story and second, I can never update without the stories of LaiDiDaanifan! No, Actually, I just don't feel like it. Hehe. Please review. I know I'm probably being an ass, or what ever. But who cares, review anyway!**


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